How to Contact the Family
To initiate contact, you can write a letter to the family of the deceased donor. Make sure you mail it to the transplant coordinator or social worker at Lahey, who will send the letter to the organ procurement organization (OPO) where the kidney was obtained. The OPO will read the letter, approve it, and then inform the family that a letter has arrived. Some families may not want to be reminded of their recent loss, so they may take some time to accept the letter, or they may choose not to accept it at all. If the family wishes to reply, they’ll do so through the OPO as mediator, who will let you know that a reply has been sent.
Meeting the Family
A very important aspect of organ donation is anonymity. With that in mind, the OPO will carefully remove all mentions of anybody’s name in the letters. If the relationship progresses to the point where the two parties wish to meet, they may do so by waving their right to privacy. The meeting location will then be arranged in the presence of a specially-trained social worker as chaperone. This meeting may have a deep impression on the two parties. Both should understand that sometimes the two families may find a connection and continue to meet, or sometimes they won’t communicate after the first meeting. Remember that every family must be allowed to mourn in their own way.
